As a break from tales of bloodshed and suffering, I have decided to write a funny post, where I will make fun of serial killers. It’s a little-known fact that these evil people are a rich source of comedy. I shall try to write this post with as much taste as possible, leaving out the victims for once. Enjoy.
Let us start with Jeff the killer!
No, no-not THAT Jeff, the other Jeff. Y’know, the uncool one. The one that looks like Ned Flanders.
Meth: NOT EVEN ONCE.
It is a known fact that Dahmer indulged in cannibalism, because sometimes brutal murder just isn’t evil enough. Well, whatever his excuse, he did it all wrong. Cheap tenderizer? Frying pans? REFRIDGERATION?!
There is only one way cannibalize someone, and it must involve formal dress codes, classical music, candlelight, and Ray Liotta.
Like so. That is the only way acceptable.
Not even in his wildest dreams could Jeff ever have measured up to Hannibal Lecter. (An evil man, but then again, Mason Verger deserved it.) He just didn’t have the intelligence. The class. The panache. The “je ne sais quoi”. The Chianti.
Also, he kind of looked like my sister’s puppy. She eats people too.
Now, let us move on to the killer clown!
Ah, no I’m talking about Pogo, not Pennywise.
You’d think that this image had been recovered from a destroyed camera found in his crawlspace, but that’s actually how he dressed when entertaining children. Aparently, they weren’t at all put off by his predatory grin, or the way he painted his mouth to look like the Batman logo.
Here’s one last oddity pertaining to Gacy: He looked rather like an elephant seal.
One is a vicious beast teeming with primal bloodlust, and the other is an elephant seal.
Well, that’s all for now, folks. I’ll be back again soon with a series of posts dedicated to the victims of Henry Lee Lucas. Bye!